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boats and no hoes

Andrew Tate Fans Being Embarrassing, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

Darcy Jimenez
Darcy Jimenez
Andrew Tate Fans Being Embarrassing, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Do you really live in Miami if you haven't hosted a men-only networking event on a yacht?
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Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week, we've got someone who's super pro-eye surgery, a controversial take on the world's greatest band and Andrew Tate fans exhibiting big loser behavior (what's new?).


Monday

LASIK advocate

The character: @CourtneeHendrix, Samford Alum, regular guy, steadfast LASIK believer

The plot: Once upon a time we found a person who didn't know how people with glasses showered. Did they actually take them off? Today we have another inquisitive mind whose ophthalmological take on LASIK surgery caused a stir, mainly because he said that people "hate technological advance" if they choose spend their life wearing glasses instead of getting eye surgery.



There's something magical that is invoked on Twitter when a flippant comment is thrown around like ad-libs.


The repercussion: At the end of the day, getting LASIK is something that you should consult a professional about, and take a well-researched look into — rather than decide on after reading some comments on social media. With a mix of jokes and reality, the people made their opinions on LASIK surgery loud and clear.



Adwait Patil




Monday

Jack D Wagner

The character: Jack D. Wagner, host of the Other World podcast, big fan of the Grateful Dead

The plot: Look, we don’t know if this was a serious tweet or purely satire/trolling. But the rest of the internet took it seriously, and if he planned on creating chaos then the bait worked perfectly.



The repercussion: Listen, we can’t totally take a dump all over Jerry Garcia and the DeadHeads out there. But like, the greatest? Really? Are we sure about that? You have so many other choices, like the Beach Boys, Pearl Jam, the Ramones, Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, REM, Nirvana, Talking Heads, Steely Dan, Sonic Youth, the Jimi Hendrix Experience, the White Stripes, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Soundgarden, Bob Seager and the Silver Bullet Band, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, the Roots, the Jackson 5, Jefferson Airplane, Pixies, Hole, the Misfits, the Killers, RHCP, Chicago, Earth Wind and Fire, Aerosmith, the Eagles — we could go on and on.



Jared Russo



Tuesday

@ReachMorpheuss

The character:@ReachMorpheuss, Andrew Tate fan, embarrassment

The plot: On Tuesday, Andrew Tate fan account @ReachMorpheuss posed a thought-provoking scenario to their followers: imagine you're on a date with a beautiful woman, but alleged human trafficker Andrew Tate calls you for a meeting. What do you do?



For the majority of losers that responded, it was a no-brainer — but their answer isn’t the one you, a normal person, would expect. The Tate lovers replied, almost universally, that if the influencer called they’d ditch their date and rush over to Incel HQ ASAP.


The repercussion:

The sane, non-misogynist among us pretty much just made fun of @ReachMorpheuss and their followers — and honestly, I don't see how the original poster saw that tweet going any other way.



Darcy Jimenez



Saturday

Dustin Varano

The character: Dustin Varano, Discord millionaire, possible D-bag

The plot: Ah yes, the image that launched a thousand tweets: a bunch of dudes on a 100-foot yacht, most of them white, all networking while a private chef cooks them food.



That's why you gotta love Miami.


The repercussion:

There are simply too many ways to make fun of this, so we will allow Twitter to go off, as it typically does. The meme format of the text, the now iconic premise and picture of guys hanging out on a boat, the dude in the ski mask drinking booze, it's all just too much. "White Lotus" levels of young boujie people enjoying money they got from scamming on the internet.



Jared Russo



———

Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which featured someone who doesn't understand the Trader Joe's hype, discourse about bananas in America and a person who's having an existential crisis.

Comments

  1. Steve Doolan 9 months ago

    I don't understand, it's not as if The J.B.'s is difficult to spell

  2. Molly Bradley 9 months ago

    don't make me come in here and give a full lecture about the influence of the grateful dead on american culture and musical tradition

    1. Endoacustica Europe 9 months ago

      sure

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