office hours

I'm Recently Divorced And Falling For My Office Crush, And More Of This Week’s Best Work Drama

I'm Recently Divorced And Falling For My Office Crush, And More Of This Week’s Best Work Drama
A woman comes to terms with everyone in the office forgetting her birthday.
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Welcome to Digg's newest advice column tackling something we all have to deal with at some time or other: work drama. Each week, I'll be bringing the juiciest stories from across the web right to our little virtual water cooler. From toxic bosses to nightmare workplaces, I'm here to speak a little justice on behalf of the average worker.

While you're here, please note that this weekly series is meant solely for entertainment purposes. Please do not have your HR team call me tomorrow saying you heard it from Joel at Digg.


Nobody In My Office Remembered My Birthday, And Now I'm Feeling Petty

Birthdays should not be important. Not for adults anyway.

Last year they celebrated my birthday at work and that was nice. They do it for everyone it. This year nothing. No one even said happy birthday.

Ok, it stings a bit but I’ll get over it.

Earlier in the month at my other job, they said I’d have my choice to choose pizza for everyone or a coffee shop gift card for me for my birthday.

Nothing.

I'm surviving the sting by trying to be diligent and working hard, and the end of the day comes and I can go home.

It just brings up bad memories, like when I was was working somewhere else a few years ago. Other people had their birthdays observed, and the manager got them presents and sometimes cake. Even another worker had my same birthday, and they did hers and not mine. This happened repeatedly. Obviously I am not in that place anymore.

I need to let all of it go. It’s trying to impinge upon my focus and my attention today. It’s hard not to give into those bitter feelings and thoughts. It feels like a natural inclination or reflex to do that.

What can I do to try to successfully divert my attention?

Oh, I'm right there with you, sister. I would be slamming office doors, spilling coffee in the break room, cutting small chunks of people's hair as I passed by their desk all morning. (I'm kidding! I said this would be for entertainment purposes, y'all.)

Listen, you just gotta drop hints next time, preferably around the coworkers you actually want at the happy hour. I'm sorry this happened to you, though; at least you're not working with a nightmare like me. I would've taken the leftover candles from last year and created a small but controllable fire. Yeah, let them see if they can forget the great office fire of October 22! Read the rest of the thread here.


I'm (29F) Recently Divorced And Crushing Hard On My Coworker (32M)

I (29F) have this huge crush on my coworker (32M). I’m recently divorced and been trying to hang out with my colleagues after work to build a social circle. I really started noticing my coworker and he’s cute, very polite and smart. He’s introverted but talks in a smaller setting. There have been times when it’s just been both of us out for dinner. Some things I like about him: he is chivalrous, he always remembers details of what I talk about, he is curious about what I do on weekends and stuff. The conversation seems to flow easily.

He has shared personal details which he doesn’t do with other coworkers. He once offered me his jacket when I said I’m cold. He’s walked me back to my building at night. I once very casually invited him up and he said it’s late. I think he’s just a really nice guy and I’m confusing that he might like me too. What do you think?

Call me anxious, but I don't believe in office romances. Holds for crowd boos. I'm sorry, I just think things can go real south in these situations. I'll always show love to the comments, at least the ones I agree with, but y'all need to cool it with the rose-colored glasses here.

Seriously, say he says no, then imagine her walking in the next day "puro" sad. I'm just gonna say it: I think she's more in love with the idea of love than the reality of it here. Come on y'all, none of these are concrete signs he's into her, outside of a terrible Amazon J.Lo film. I'm not saying it's impossible, but you're still young and got a long career ahead of you, so please keep that in mind. Read the rest of the thread here.


My Retail Job Is Hell Because Parents Won't Control Their Kids

I work at a music store, and as such, we have some expensive items laying about. When people bring in their little kids for lessons or just because they don’t have anywhere else to take them, they just let them run around! A kid will pick up a ukulele, stick his hand in the grand piano, or mess with the decorations. What’s worse is the parents. They might say: “Brayden, get back here.” And there’s no real discipline so the child just side-eyes them and goes back to screwing crap up. It shouldn’t be my job to tell that kid not to mess with something or screw around right in front of their parent.

Here’s an example: we have some chairs outside the lesson studios for waiting. While a dad and his daughter were waiting for her lesson, the kid was just singing Mary had a little lamb very, very loudly, over, and over and over again. I mean what goes through your mind as a parent to allow that crap?

Maybe life would be easier if I could sit down at work 😊

Oh, I just know I'm going to have fun writing this new column. Listen, can I share my own little Joel story from when I was an even littler Joel? Picture it: Sicily. No, not really, it's from my old job at a movie theater, off the highway back in Texas. So, this kid's acting up, grabbing all this candy at checkout and putting it on the counter, and the dad's not saying anything, having me scan them all. Well, I finish, and the dad just goes, "Next time, you only do what I tell you to do" — and not to the child, to me!

Anyways, I'm sure that kid's a serial killer now, and I'm justified holding onto this rage for a very healthy nine years. Real talk, though: I'm sorry this happened to you. Hang in there, friend. Oh, and whoever made no sitting a rule in retail, I hope you sit on a thumbtack today... in hell! Read the rest of the thread here.


I'm Getting Sick Of People Leaving Dirty Dishes In The Sink All Week

I’ve got 20-25 people in the office daily and quite a few unwashed dishes in the sink by the end of the day.

Tried office-wide emails, meetings addressing this, even spoke to the worst offenders one-to-one, nothing helped. It seems the office relies on the cleaning crew to come in on the weekend and wash the dishes.

Don’t want to do the “unwashed dishes will be thrown away” sign as they’re company property. Also don’t want to formally reprimand those not washing the dishes as it seems a bit harsh.

Any ideas? Thank you.

Alright, so I thought it'd be fun to answer one of these seriously. First off, I know a lot of people are on team "They're Adults" and "Throw The Dishes Out," but I think we're not being honest enough here. I don't know what your employees do, but I'm pretty sure you don't pay them to do janitorial services.

If you've got a cleaning crew coming in already, and the dishes are actually company property, how is it any different than asking the crew to clean the desks? I'm being serious; everyone here is, I assume, a hardworking adult. This is more about making job duties clearer for the positions they're actually being paid for. Also, how do you have this much time to send emails, plan several meetings and then go to Reddit about this? That's it, I'm ordering a DNA test and I'm assuming every last dish was yours until the results come in! Read the rest of the thread here.


How Do I Deal With My Lying Girlboss Colleague?

I have a female colleague who lies. She lies about deliverable due dates, lies about how much work she does, lies about how much work others do — like fish to water, this one. What's worse is she has a fun habit of throwing people under the bus. About a week ago she tells me that she needs XYZ information for a project. I happen to be passionate about XYZ and create a whole interface for her to show the client. If she wins we win, right? Wrong. Not only did she never show the client, but today, the client directly asked for more information about XYZ during our progress meeting. Instead of being remotely honest, she says: "I pulled some information for you and I'll get it over to you soon." "[Liar] did you share the interface I created last week? This information is detailed extensively in XYZ subsections."

After the meeting she. Lost. Her. Shit. On. Me. "That was so inappropriate of you. If you have a question then you ping me or call me after, not in front of the client!" "I just asked a question during our meeting." "You are out of line and now the client EXPECTS this from me !" "...You said they expected it last week? I prioritized getting this done over my other work because you said--" "It doesn't matter! You shouldn't have done that" "Look, I did nothing wrong. Asking a clarifying question during our shared meeting was not wrong. I already built the interface, what is the problem?"

Real piece of work. My actual manager is chatting me saying things like "[Liar] said she asked you several times for ABC, did she?" "No. This is the first I'm hearing about it. But all good, already building it."

I've genuinely never encountered someone who lies as much or as often as this c*** and I'm struggling with it. What can I do here? As a neurospicy female, her behavior is... astonishing and perplexing to me. WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE to be able to lie like her and sleep at night. We're on the same team but she has been at the company longer than I have (same role, same level). Should I say something to my manager or just let things play out?

Dear Digg readers, if somebody messes with you at work, listen to me: you shut that down the instant it happens. You do not let it continue, because as this example shows you, if you let that person get away with it once, they will do it again and again.

Now, you never want to create a problem for your boss, so don't just walk in there to blow off personal steam and say something you'll regret. Instead, bring up actual performance numbers that were affected by this person, then bring up their drama, and end it by explaining how you've overcome all that — but could do better if their behavior was addressed. By making it performance-based and not personal, you're letting that other person write their own obituary, because the only ammo they got are emotional outbursts, trust me.

Bottom line: let your boss know, because this will never resolve itself. Honestly, just view it as practice for the next person, because this is sadly part of climbing the ladder: knowing how to defend yourself professionally. Read the rest of the thread here.


[Image credit: Josh Hild]

Comments

  1. John Doe 1 month ago

    For the office dishes, at my company, two people are on kitchen duty for a week. They are responsible to clean the kitchen at the end of each day. Every week two new people take over the role.

    It makes everyone responsible because your fellow employees know EXACTLY whose dishes are in there and when it is your turn on kitchen duty they will BURY you in dirty dishes.

  2. John Doe 1 month ago

    Adults under 100 celebrating birthdays is so idiotic.

    21, yes. 100, yes. The 79 between are utterly pointless. We're ADULTS. Cake and singing Happy Birthday like a group of eight-year-olds?

    NO THANKS!


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