An Exercise Equipment CEO Who Admits He Drinks Like A Cat, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
This week's main characters include a former Macy's employee-turned-author who thinks customers should be able to fire sales associates, a rapper who crowdsources her extravagant shopping, a state's political party that asks a lot of its supporters, a pro-secessionist that brought everyone together and an exercise equipment CEO that drinks water like a cat.
Sunday
David Sedaris
The character: David Sedaris, a New York Times bestselling author and humorist known for his sardonicism.
The plot: Sedaris appeared on CBS Sunday Morning and suggested a "citizen's dismissal."
During this dif๏ฌcult time when so many Americas are looking for work, I'd like introduce an idea for something I'm calling the "citizen's dismissal."
It's like a citizen's arrest, but instead of detaining someone, you get to ๏ฌre them!
[...]
I'm not suggesting that we go crazy with this. We all have our off days. Certain people, though, could easily be replaced by go-getters who'd say, "I've got an idea! Let's wrap your pottery in my socks and underwear! Or you could use your own if you have a thing against germs." That's the kind of person I want to deal with! Someone with solutions. The sort who'd say, "If I keep the pool open, could I maybe do my laundry at your house?"
As customers, though, we'd need to keep our end of the bargain. "Of course, you can do your laundry at my place," we'll say. "I just need to throw in some socks and panties I promised to return to someone who, like you, is really good at her job."
The repercussion: While Sedaris had intended the suggestion in jest, his spiel did not go over well with much of the internet, who criticized the joke as being insensitive at a time when many Americans are struggling financially during the pandemic. Many brought up his "SantaLand Diaries" essay about his time working as a Christmas elf at Macy's Santaland, which included an anecdote about a customer threatening to get him fired.
In response to the blowback from the segment, Sedaris locked his Twitter account.
Dishonorable Mention
Cardi B
The character: Cardi B, rapper and connoisseur of all things wet.
The plot: Cardi B asked her 15.5 million Twitter followers if she should spend $88,000 on a purse.
The rapper later revealed the purse in question.
The repercussion: Some criticized Cardi B's purse discourse as being self-centered and called for her to be more charitable during a hard time for many people.
Cardi B's tweet even sparked a meme, with people jokingly asking whether they should spend $88K on purse-like items.
Cardi B attempted to explain that she's given plenty to charity in the past.
However, after getting a thorough drubbing over the purse tweet, the rapper agreed to match charitable donations to various causes.
And in spite of the backlash, she still decided to go ahead and buy the purse.
Tuesday
The Arizona Republican Party
The character: The Arizona Republican Party, which gave us the late Senator John McCain and, um, former Senator Jeff Flake.
The plot: On Tuesday, the Twitter account of the Arizona Republican Party asked its followers if they were willing to give their lives to overturn the presidential election for Donald Trump.
Arizona officially certified Joe Biden as the winner of its 11 electoral votes on November 30.
The account had earlier tweeted a scene from "Rambo IV" of the eponymous character fighting to rescue hostages, captioning it, "This is what we do, who we are. Live for nothing, or die for something."
The repercussion: The account was swiftly condemned by state legislators, who decried the tweets calling for violence over the election.
Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs declared the tweets "dangerous" and said that they fueled "detached from reality conspiracy theories."
Zach Henry, a spokesperson for the Arizona Republican Party, responded to the backlash, saying the party denounced supporters who were planning on resorting to violence.
"The Republican Party of Arizona condemns all forms of violence in the strongest terms," he said.
Thursday
Amy Siskind
The character: Amy Siskind, anti-Trump activist, author and previous main character runner-up.
The plot: On the heels of Rush Limbaugh's assertion that the United States is "trending toward secession," Suskind tweeted out a "proposed map" of the "United States of Canada" and Jesusland, an ancient meme that originated in the aftermath of the 2004 election.
The repercussion: Siskind's tweet trended for all the wrong reasons, bringing together both conservatives and liberals to excoriate it.
Others called the proposal "exclusionary" of people of color and deemed it ignorant of Canada's political complexities.
Conversely, some conservatives welcomed Siskind's offer to secede from the union.
Siskind deleted her tweet and acknowledged posting the meme was a "bad choice."
She apologized in a follow-up tweet. "My apologies to anyone offended. It was just sloppy work and I take the responsibility and will be more careful in constructing what I post. I am always a work in progress, but today I failed. Please accept my apology."
Friday
John Foley
The character: John Foley, founder and CEO of Peloton, the exercise equipment company.
The plot: In a New York Times profile of the exercise mogul, Foley revealed that he starts his day by taking "40 sips of water from (his) hand at the upstairs bathroom sink."
The repercussion: The internet had a field day with Foley's unusual admission.
Some people found the whole anecdote completely vexing.
Read last week's One Main Character column, which includes an "SNL" character come to life, a comedian with a bad bodega tweet and a former baseball player who thinks guys who date women with kids are chumps.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].
